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siiigh. relient k makes my life.

  • Apr. 7th, 2009 at 4:07 PM

"Curl Up And Die"

I don't like the steps I took
To get to look
Into your deepest feelings

I don't like the place I'm in
Headspace within the hardwood and the ceiling

Cause if I'm restless
Then why do I
I want nothing but to rest my soul

And I don't get this and I know why
You see sometimes things are just beyond control

But I don't mind
But I'm not surprised to find that you do
I'm not surprised to find that you do
I know you do

And I feel fine
But I know the same does not apply to you
I know the same does not apply to you
So I guess that I'll curl up and die, too.

Clinging to the remnants of perfection
Like most do after they break it
Not knowing which directions the correct one
Do I discard or remake it

Cause if I don't know then I don't know
But I may know someone that knows me more than I
And if I somehow could rest this soul
Maybe control could find its way back to my life

But I don't mind
You see I know that I have done all this to you


  • Mar. 31st, 2009 at 3:34 AM

its been 2 years 6 months since you said hi.
its been 2 years and 4 months since the coffee.

it took 1 month to talk all day.
it took 2 months for them to notice.
it took 3 months to giggle.
it took 4 months to appreciate.
it took 5 months to plan the life.
it took 6 months to admit it.
it took 8 months to break it.
it took 9 months to convince me.
it took 11 months to visit.
it took 12-15 months to crush it. pick it up. dust it off.
it took 16 months to shatter it. tear it. step on it.
it took 19 months to repair it.
it took 23 months to love it. surprise it. abandon it.
it took 24 months to adopt it. build it up. burn it down.
it took 26 months to talk all day. for them to notice. giggle. appreciate. plan the life. admit it. break it. convince me. visit...
it took 26 1/2 months to feel thissmall. second guess. hate.
it took 30 months to wait. silence. notbeok.


  • Mar. 31st, 2009 at 3:19 AM

because just for tonight im going to let you blame me.

can we pretend i ran there instead.
can we pretend i didnt have butterflies.
can we pretend i wasnt a secret.

that we tried our hardest,
felt our hardest.

because right now i feel like it was my fault.

i wont pretend that i was perfect anymore.
i wont pretend that youre the bad guy.
i wont pretend that you didnt know the right thing to say.

because right now the what ifs are eating me alive.

sometimes i dont even care.
soemtimes i cant imagine my life WITH you.
sometimes i would never of gone to toronto.

because right now ill let you play the victim.

blame me for not running when you gave me the chance.
blame me for not knowing what i want to do.
blame me for being scared.

because im starting to forget the bad.
because i want the best.
because i want the worst.
because i wait everyday.

new our lady peace is looove.

  • Mar. 27th, 2009 at 4:05 PM

i feel like i really love my hair today.
that is all.

Mar. 26th, 2009

  • 2:47 PM

We stayed up talking all night.
You looked at me and smiled and kissed my shoulder in the morning, telling me you always sleep well when I’m by your side.

And I wake up the next morning and see the way that your hair looks ridiculous after you sleep on it. And it’s raining outside, so no slight kiss of sunlight touches your face. And I smile at you and lightly let my lips touch yours, even though you pout and say it’s not a real kiss,

and I know we are all wrong for each other.

maybe i dont say it enough...

  • Mar. 13th, 2009 at 3:14 AM

thank you for inviting me out that night.
thank you for the late night texts.
thank you for the songs.
thank you for listening.

thank you for ignoring me that night.
thank you for always wanting something.
thank you for attaching yourself to my comfort songs.
thank you for shoving it in my face.

thank you for always being there.
thank you for knowing how to make me smile.
thank you for remembering the little things.
thank you for the faux bed.

thank you for all the "when its conviniant"
thank you for never using the knowledge.
thank you for forgetting the big things.
thank you for letting me second guess.

because maybe i wont move on.
because maybe i will but i wont forget.
because maybe part of me doesnt want to forget.

sometimes i want to pretend it didnt happen.
sometimes i want to pretend it affects you like it affects me.
sometimes i want to pretend im not this pathetic.

because its too late to tell me that my tattoos are what you actually like.
because its too late for you to tell me that the colors in my hair make me, me.
because its too late for me to run away.

remind me what im running too.

thank you for never telling anyone.
thank you for dragging me along for this long.
thank you for lying.
thank you for showing me that even if its hard love, its still love.


  • Mar. 2nd, 2009 at 12:16 PM

because i promised myself that this was the closure.
this was going to be my goodbye.
this was going to be my new begining.

because im always the one running to you.
this was my last chance.
this was my last pitch.

because i deserve better.
because you deserve better.

we're both perfect.
but not for eachother.

because i forgot how much you make me smile.
this was harder than i thought.
this was a bad time.

because we're always going to fight.
because we both know its not us.
its the situation.

there is nothing more frustrating than failing.
than wanting something you cant have.
than having something you cant have.
than losing something you cant have.

because i have the strength to disregard your feelings.
because i think i have the strength to disregard your feelings.
because i pray i have the strength to disregard your feelings.

you never show them.
you never talk about them.

do you even feel them.


  • Feb. 26th, 2009 at 1:26 PM

when i step back and watch everything.
i cant even pick the part i want to rewind.

curling up on you and having a nap?
that time right befor we fall asleep?
pinch me.
i dont want my last memory to fade this quickly.

dont attach yourself to everything.
dont let me attach you to everything.

you werent better than this.
i was better than this.
who you are
doesnt make it ok.

so uh.. yeah.

  • Feb. 7th, 2009 at 10:10 AM

he took away a part of you that you will never get back; he took your soul, your happiness, your mind. and for that, i could kill the bastard.

so, ontario here i come.. 6 more sleeps!

uh huh.

  • Feb. 4th, 2009 at 6:13 PM

"I could tell you my adventures beginning from this morning,
but its no use going back to yesterday,
because i was a different person then."
- Lewis Carroll